


Of Hope

by bluemermaid



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-05-17
Updated: 2014-05-05
Packaged: 2018-01-22 00:52:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 13
Words: 12,536
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1569938
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bluemermaid/pseuds/bluemermaid
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It is misery being with Zacharias Smith, though not quite for the same reasons as it used to be.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> The first of the series.

  
Cedric is grinning at her.

It isn't as though she hates Cedric's grin, and even if she did, she could never think such a terrible thing now, after what's happened. Except for the uncomfortable truth of the matter, which is that Marietta Edgecombe does hate Cedric Diggory's smile, and she always has.

It's not something that can be easily explained, even to herself, so she only shifts in her seat and looks away from the giant banners strung from the ceiling, each of which displays Cedric's smiling face. Marietta looks instead at the girl sitting beside her, who is crying. "You all right?" Mari whispers, clutching awkwardly at Cho's hand.

Cho doesn't even bother to nod; she just keeps crying into her handkerchief, as though Marietta had never spoken at all. But that's all right, for it's a terrible thing that's happened to poor Cedric, and Marietta is trying very hard not to be a bad person today. Her gaze drifts up past Cho and the banners, flickering over the white-haired wizard at the front of the room, who is talking about something great Cedric has done. He's been talking for what seems like forever, and Marietta can't concentrate. None of this feels real; nobody Mari has known has ever died before. Not that she knew Cedric very well, but hating the very smile of a man has to count for something.

After the service, Marietta finds herself standing alone in the middle of the great field where they've laid poor Cedric to his final rest. Mr. and Mrs. Diggory are hovering over the freshly filled grave. One of them is crying; Mari can't tell which of them it is. Cho has vanished into the crowds lingering further back, and Marietta feels very stupid, for she doesn't know what to do. She didn't even want to come to this service, and now Cho has abandoned her once again.

"Depressing, isn't it?" Mari turns at the unfamiliar voice; a somber boy with tousled blonde hair is giving her an odd look. "They can't tell the truth about Cedric at all."

"The murder?" Marietta asks. She doesn't know how she feels about that; her mother tells her not to think about such things, letting the Ministry handle things as they see fit. Cho is defiant about the whole thing, which unnerves Mari, to be honest. It's not down to a couple of teenagers to stop the most evil thing in existence, if it does indeed live.

The boy waves off Mari's words. "Not just that," he says dismissively. "Cedric himself, the person. All these services are the same, a lot of bollocks about how 'brave' and 'compassionate' he was."

Marietta can hardly believe her ears. "You don't sound very supportive of poor Cedric," she says carefully, not yet daring to hope that she is not the only loon on the field.

"He's more than just a stereotype," the boy says harshly, gritting his teeth. "He's not just some poster boy for their heroics. He's not a martyr. Cedric had a wicked sense of humor, and he was fantastic at Charms. He liked turnips, of all things. A true homage to Cedric would mention things like that."

Marietta feels her attention waning as she realizes that this boy is probably nuttier than even she. "Yeah, I need to find Cho," she says, looking away from the boy.

He snorts. "Good luck. I'm surprised she's not cried herself right into the grave beside him."

"Oh, sod off," Mari snaps, angry mostly because she's thought the same thing. "What are you doing here, anyway? Shouldn't you be weeping with the lot of them?"

"I was only wondering," the boy drawls, fixing Marietta with a darkly sardonic smirk, "what you were doing here, when you can't even seem to look at him." At Mari's open-mouthed silence, his grin only broadens. "Yeah, I noticed you avoiding the banners. To be honest, I thought they were ridiculous, too."

And despite herself, Marietta laughs, because they really were ridiculous, Cedric grinning down at everyone like some angel from the heavens above. Ridiculous, and incredibly off-putting. "I really do need to find Cho," she says, blushing, for she shouldn't laugh at a funeral, even if it is Cedric's. "It was...interesting, talking with you."

"I meant what I said before," he replies. "When I wished you luck. You'll need it, with her."

She is angry again in a flash, her mood swings nearly dizzying. "And just what is that supposed to mean?"

The boy stares off into the distance for a moment; a sheen of unshed tears coats his eyes, and Marietta feels a rush of guilt for her harsh tone. "It's just hard to compete sometimes," he says, and abruptly snaps out of it, his expression hardening. "I should have given the speech, you know. I'd have written a proper tribute to Cedric."

"Sure," Marietta says uncertainly, moving slowly away. She is not at all sure, having no idea what to make of this strange young man. "See you in school, I suppose? I'm sorry for your loss."

"So am I," the boy replies.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The second of the series.

 

It's bloody freezing outside, and Marietta is so angry she'd just love to explode something. Just pull out her wand and aim it at something. Anything will do; she just wants to use magic. She can feel it boiling just under her skin, the urge. It's all Cho's fault, as usual. Marietta remembers fondly a time of constant laughter and silliness, whispering eagerly in the halls as they watched the fit blokes pass. All that changed when Cedric asked Cho to the Yule Ball, and it's only got worse from there.

Mari is standing in the middle of the road, waiting for Cho to extricate herself from the group. It used to be them against the world, the Ravenclaw Girls, but somehow the lot of them have managed to escape Cho's latest bout with madness, leaving Marietta alone to fend with this nonsense of secret groups.

Cho says goodbye to the girls and turns towards Marietta; she doesn't see the pitying looks the others give her before they flow away like a coursing river through the doors of Honeyduke's. Marietta wishes briefly that she were caught up in that river herself, but then she looks at Cho and remembers, sadly, why she isn't. None of the other Ravenclaw Girls has lay awake at night wondering what Cho Chang's lips taste like. That's one of the only certainties Marietta has right now.

"Well, we might as well get on with it," Mari says with a sigh, tightening her scarf and rubbing her nose with one gloved hand. It's so cold Marietta can see her breath in the air, a puff of white before her eyes that disperses quickly into the surrounding colors of Hogsmeade. "Before we get caught."

Cho purses her lips. "You don't have to come, Mari," she says tightly. "I don't want to force you into anything."

Marietta scowls at her. "I won't leave you," she says, strutting ahead, catching Cho by the arm and dragging her towards the Hog's Head. "Bad enough you want to do this at all, I couldn't possibly let you at it alone."

Cho smiles at her in a way that makes Mari's chest hurt. "I knew you wouldn't," Cho says, rushing forward to keep pace with Marietta. "I just really think this is the right thing to do, don't you?"

Mari rolls her eyes, turning her face away so that Cho can't see. It's one thing to be surly, but she can't let Cho get too down about it; this is the happiest she's seen Cho in weeks. Unfortunately, it comes at the expense of breaking school rules and taunting the Ministry, but all silver linings encase a storm cloud.

*****

It's after the meeting that he corners her; Marietta turns to say something to Cho, only to find that her friend has vanished, and a very familiar blonde boy is standing in her place, smirking at her. Mari is very close to turning back around and walking away when he starts to speak. "You don't seem too keen on this whole thing," he says, gesturing loosely towards the pub beside them.

Marietta glances around fruitlessly for Cho. "Some of us think rules aren't meant to be broken," she says. She'd recognized him straight away, of course; his drawling anger during the meeting struck her immediately, from the first syllable out of his mouth.

"Zacharias Smith," he introduces himself, sticking his hand out at her. Mari shakes it gingerly, watching his face carefully as she does so. He has an odd way of smiling that seems almost scary, as though he is hiding an immense fountain of rage beneath it. Marietta wonders if she looks the same way.

"Marietta," she says. "Marietta Edgecombe. We've met before, at the funeral."

His face goes dark, losing its smile entirely. "I know," he says. "And they're just continuing to make a mockery of it." Mari raises an eyebrow and opens her mouth to speak, but Zacharias doesn't let her, steamrolling over her as though she weren't even there. "All this bravado, like they could actually do anything. If Cedric Diggory couldn't stop You-Know-Who, why can Harry Potter? He's just a Hogwarts student, like you and me. He didn't even really win the Tournament last year, you know; it was Cedric. If you ask me, this whole thing sounds completely useless. You shouldn't even be bothered with the rule-breaking; in my opinion, the whole thing will fall apart once Potter fails to teach anything properly."

"I didn't ask you," Marietta says coldly, crossing her arms over her chest. "What makes you think you can just strut over here and ramble at me, like I care for anything you have to say?"

Zacharias stares at her for a moment, and Mari feels an odd shiver run down her back. "They all act like the heroes," he says, and his voice is quieter, calmer. He has lost his terrifying glare. "Putting up this act of the righteous, throwing about ideals like rising against tyranny, the downtrodden few avenging the wrongful death of one of their own. But none of them really knew Cedric. Your girlfriend there, Chang? She didn't even know Cedric." His stare is penetrating; Marietta squirms nervously, wondering what he's seeing when he looks at her. "I just think the real downtrodden are the ones who know what's really going on. The ones dragged along beside the fakes."

Marietta clears her throat before replying. "I think you're mad, you know. Even if I did agree with you, even if I thought this was a waste of time, I'd still be a part of it. Because you never know what can help." She thinks, of course, only of helping Cho, but Zacharias Smith doesn't have to know about that.

"That's exactly what I'm talking about," he replies, pointing at her, and something in his eyes makes Marietta think maybe he knows about it, anyway.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The third of the series.

They're standing awkwardly just inside the doorway, waiting, and Zacharias has started making tutting noises, tapping his foot impatiently as he glares at Harry Potter. Marietta wants to glare, too, but all she can do is laugh at the sight they make, the two of them so in tandem without even meaning for it, without even caring about one another.

Zacharias looks around at the sound of her laughter. "What's so funny?" He demands loudly, as though speaking louder could somehow scare her into silence.

She arches an eyebrow at him. "Temper, Smith."

"Oh, please, like you're thrilled to be here." He nods at her, noting how their postures match, both of them with their arms folded over their chests, waiting to be allowed to leave. Harry has instructed them not to all leave the Room of Requirement at once, so as not to arouse suspicion. They're waiting their turn, and clearly not very happy about it. Marietta can't decide if she hates waiting, or if she just hates taking orders from Potter. It's bad enough having to listen to him for these little Defense classes. "You ought to just go now and leave your girlfriend behind," says Zacharias. "She's angling to be last, you know."

Cho is not standing with her friend, which makes Marietta's nerves itch. Cho is standing near Harry, not speaking to anyone, but making it rather obvious what her goals are. Marietta follows Cho's gaze to Potter, and she swallows hard. "Maybe I will," she says, offhandedly. Cho doesn't seem to notice Marietta fighting to catch her eyes; Marietta wonders if Cho would notice if she left without her.

Zacharias makes a snorting sound of disbelief. "You will not," he says firmly. "You're afraid to go anywhere without that girl, aren't you?"

Marietta frowns at him. "Why do you keep trying to tell me how I feel? You don't know a thing about me, as I seem to keep failing to remind you."

"You're in love with her," says Zacharias, and Marietta feels the bottom drop out of her stomach. "It's obvious," Smith continues, seemingly oblivious to Marietta's shock. "The way you stare after her, it's exactly the way she stares at Potter. The both of you are utterly transparent. Frankly, it makes me sick just looking at it."

"Then don't," Marietta snaps, feeling her face flush, an unbearable heat creeping up her neck. "I am not in love with Cho, Zacharias. You're completely ridiculous, and as I said before, you don't know the first thing about me."

"So go, then," Zacharias replies, his head twitching towards the door. "Leave Cho here to moon over Potter, go back to your Ravenclaw bedroom, and go to sleep. Leave right now, if you're not a terrible liar, if you're not afraid of losing her." He laughs harshly. "As though waiting could lure her to you."

Marietta stares at him, at the cold anger in his eyes, and she wonders how he can speak to her this way, as though he is slowly pulling the words from her heart and stomping on top of them. She stares at him, and then she looks back at Cho, who is not moving. Marietta hesitates, her body still in the doorway.

Zacharias nods at her. "That's what I thought."


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The fourth of the series.

  
Zacharias leans over and nudges Marietta's shoulder. "Partner with me," he says simply, his expression oddly blank.

Marietta hesitates, glancing over at Cho. She is watching Harry Potter's best friends, Weasley and Granger, who are arguing about something. "Why?" Marietta asks, turning back to Zacharias. "Haven't you got a partner already?"

Zacharias shrugs. "No one seems to be leaping at the opportunity." He smirks at her. "For I am so loved amongst the Gryffindors."

"Don't act so persecuted, Smith," Marietta snaps, placing a hand upon her hip. "There are Hufflepuffs here, too; I'm not colourblind."

Zacharias rolls his eyes and moves closer, tugging gently on the edge of Marietta's robes. Marietta stiffens, eyeing him carefully and fighting the urge to slap his hand away. How dare he put his fingers on her, even so indirectly? Zacharias Smith is the most irritating person Marietta knows right now, except for perhaps Cho, who is still not looking at her supposed best friend.

"They've got their partners," Zacharias says darkly, glaring across the room. Marietta follows his gaze to the Hufflepuff contingent of "Dumbledore's Army" (a ridiculous name if Marietta ever thought of one). They are clustered together in a corner, already practicing Body-Binds on one another, and Marietta feels a twinge of annoyance at the sight of it. She should be binding Cho Chang already, yet instead she is once again talking to Zacharias Smith, a curse more unfortunate than any spell could conjure.

" _Petrificus Totalus_ ," Marietta says in response, flourishing her wand, and Zacharias Smith falls to the floor with a satisfying thud. Marietta leans over him; he is frozen in place, characteristically scowling up at her, and she laughs at the sight of it. Briefly, she even considers leaving him this way; he's certainly more appealing when he's silent. Zacharias is even rather handsome from this angle, actually. Marietta frowns at the thought and waves her wand over him, muttering the counter-curse. She can't leave him frozen if she's going to be having _thoughts_ about it.

"I wasn't ready," Zacharias snaps, climbing awkwardly to his feet. "Stop taking your Cho frustrations out on me."

"Stop talking about Cho, and maybe I will," Marietta replies sharply, taking a defensive stance as Zacharias prepares to cast his own spell.

"Stop thinking about Cho and I swear I will," Zacharias says, with a flick of the wrist. For a moment, Marietta can't tell what's harmed her; disoriented, she doesn't know if the achromatic blur of the world spinning is caused by a literal curse, or merely by the sheer amount of heartbreak in the sound of Zacharias Smith's voice.

In the end, it doesn't matter; she finds herself lying, stunned, on the floor of the Room of Requirement anyway.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The fifth of the series.

  
Cho butters her toast and looks to her left, where Marietta sits sullenly, her food untouched and gleaming on her plate. "Mari, what's wrong?" Cho asks, feeling a genuine concern for her friend. It was awfully kind of Marietta to accompany Cho to DA meetings, despite her misgivings about the group. Cho appreciates it greatly, though she knows she probably doesn't show it very well. There's just so much to do and think about this year. Quidditch, homework, DA practice, and, mostly, boys.

"Nothing's wrong," Marietta says, though she does not look at Cho. Instead, her eyes flicker towards something behind her. Cho follows her gaze, but doesn't see anything, just a table filled with Hufflepuffs. "I'm just not very hungry this morning. Perhaps I've got the flu."

Cho bites her lower lip nervously, her eyes searching Marietta's form for some sign of what might be bothering her. Cho's having a lot of trouble herself lately, with her weak heart misbehaving every time she lays eyes on one Harry Potter. She's supposed to be mourning Cedric, and she very much is, but Harry is so kind and brave, and he knows things that nobody else knows. He knows Cedric's final moments.

But Marietta doesn't care for Harry, and she doesn't know anything at all of Cedric, and so it's obvious that her problems don't relate to Cho at all. "It's all right, you know," Cho says, laying her hand upon Marietta's arm. "You don't have to protect me. I share my troubles with you; you're free to share anything with me."

Marietta looks at Cho with something like surprise in her eyes, some hesitating sort of fear. Cho looks back with earnest longing, longing for shared comfort between friends. Cho only wants Mari to be happy.

"There is something," Marietta says slowly, her hand shaking as she lays it upon Cho's. "But you couldn't possibly understand."

"Well, it's worth a try," Cho says with a smile. "We're best friends, aren't we? How could I not understand?"

Marietta opens her mouth to speak, and they are immediately interrupted by the slamming of a rather large textbook upon the table, a loud thump that startles both girls into little gasping shrieks. Their hands come apart. Cho looks up to see a frighteningly angry Zacharias Smith standing over them, with his arms folded over his chest. "That was very rude," she admonishes him.

"I was only returning a book." He has no eyes for Cho; he watches Marietta carefully. "Thanks for the help," he says, and his voice is cruel and twisted.

"You really ought to be more careful," Cho says loudly, confused and angry by his obvious cold shoulder towards her.

"I'm not the one who needs to be careful," Zacharias replies, and Marietta glares back at him, her face beginning to flush.

"I'm perfectly cautious," Marietta says, "in everything I do."

Zacharias looks, finally, at Cho, who raises her eyebrows at him questioningly. "I suppose I'll see you in our next meeting," he drawls, glaring at the both of them before stalking away.

"Ooh, he's terrible," Cho says once he is gone, shoving the book closer to Marietta. "I can't imagine why you'd lend him your books."

Marietta stares down at said book and shrugs her shoulders. "Neither can I."

"What does he mean about being careful, anyway?" Cho demands, watching Zacharias return to his own table, not noticing how Marietta's fists clench and her face flushes a deeper shade of red.

"That's just his own awkward warning signal," Marietta mutters in response, sliding the textbook off the table and clutching it to her chest. She doesn't know where the book really came from; she'll probably have to ask Zacharias later. Which is incredibly irritating, as she's been planning on avoiding him for the rest of her life. She supposes they're both being rather awkward at the moment, though she would never do something so humiliating as this, some maladroit effort to prevent a confession. Zacharias Smith is still a mystery to her in many ways, despite his seeming to know Marietta's every corner.

"Warning signal? Whatever for?" Cho asks. Innocent Cho, who hates Zacharias for being rude to Harry, who thinks Marietta is suffering some simple school problem that can be solved by talking it out with a friend.

"Nothing," Marietta says, shaking her head and forcing a smile upon her face. "I have no idea at all."

Smith's little stunt does work, though, as awkward as it was; Cho doesn't ask Mari again what's wrong with her.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The sixth of the series.

  
Cho throws her arms tightly around Marietta's neck, squeezing so hard that Marietta feels both comforted and strangled at once. "Harry kissed me," Cho whispers fiercely, pulling back with a nervous, teary smile. Marietta's comfort is immediately vanquished.

"Great," she says lifelessly, without even bothering to smile.

Cho is not pleased with this reaction; she bites her lower lip. "Is that a bad thing? Am I being unfaithful?"

 _Yes, but not to Cedric,_ Marietta thinks, but instead she awkwardly pats Cho's shoulder. "You know me, never a fan of Gryffindors," she says.

Cho laughs. "Oh, Mari, I'm going to miss you over vacation! Have a happy Christmas, won't you?"

"I'll try my best." This time Cho seems to miss the sarcasm.

"Off for Christmas, I expect," says Zacharias, his blond hair messier than usual in the cold winds of December. Cho has already boarded the train, which is a relief to Marietta, for it's hard enough dealing with one unfortunate attraction. Smith looks almost pleasant with his hair that way, and the slight tinge of pink in his cheeks.

"Actually, no, I'm not," she says to Zacharias, tightening her scarf. It helps to obscure her own reddening face, or so she hopes. "Staying home this year." This is really for the better; Marietta's mother would fling her child out the window if she knew what Marietta is up to this year at Hogwarts. There are so many unwanted worries on Marietta's mind that she isn't sure she can keep them from her parent. She used to be able to tell her mother anything, but that's before Cho got prettier than ever and forced Mari to join an illegal Defense organization. Madame Edgecombe would not be thrilled about either of those things.

Zacharias stares at her for a moment and nods. He is frowning, as usual, but there seems to be less malice behind it for once. "Good luck to you."

"I suppose I'll see you afterward, then," Marietta says as she begins to move away from the platform. It's good enough she's come to see Cho off; she doesn't think she can bear watching the train leave.

"Oh, I wouldn't be so sure," Zacharias replies, following her, and Marietta gets a sinking feeling in her stomach. "I'll be sitting beside you at the Christmas feast, I believe."

"Why in the world are you staying? Don't you have a family to visit?" Marietta's voice grows louder and shriller with every word. It is misery being with Zacharias Smith, though not quite for the same reasons as it used to be.

"Please, Edgecombe. What makes you think my family wants me?" He is smiling now, but he does not sound happy. Marietta tries not to let her heart ache, but he is making it so impossibly difficult.

"I figured someone had to care about you," she finds herself saying.

"I'm barely welcome in Hufflepuff house," Zacharias replies, slightly less sadly than before. His smile widens. "A house, perhaps, but not a home. Neither of them."

"I'm not sure you're not just trying to win sympathy from me," Marietta says shrewdly. "Is this some sort of ploy? 'Poor Zacharias, I ought to give him a Christmas snog?' You're getting more pathetic by the day." She is blushing harder than ever; this mix of emotions is killing her.

Zacharias loses his smile immediately, glaring at Marietta with an expression of superiority severe enough to rival any Slytherin's. "A Christmas snog? From the likes of you? You've made it incredibly obvious you'd rather snog Cho Chang, and I am nothing if not used to that sort of nonsense. I gave up on you ages ago, Edgecombe." He stares her down, his upper lip curling slightly. "It was rather easy."

A rush of anger overwhelms any of Marietta's other emotions. The flush of her cheeks remains, though for an entirely different reason, and she shoves Zacharias with an animal grunt. "You infuriating arse! I am so close to murdering you right this instant! How dare you use my own weaknesses to humiliate me? How dare you follow me around with your little insinuations, your 'understanding,' only to insult me? You are an evil little rat, you know that? You disgust me." There are tears of anger in her eyes, tears of frustration at the unfairness of the universe. Harry Potter has kissed Cho Chang, and Zacharias Smith has given up on her. It is disgusting and wrong and Marietta doesn't want any part of it, and yet it bears down on her with such a heavy weight, and she is crying despite herself.

"I don't know," says Zacharias, with a gleam in his eyes. He stops, his anger fading, and tugs at the end of Marietta's scarf. "Such a violent show of emotion. I'd think you'd be happy to hear I didn't care about you, if you weren't secretly fond of me. Sounds to me like there's hope for us yet."

"Oh, sod off, you pathetic little worm," Marietta says. She pulls at her scarf, intending to yank it from Zacharias's grasp. Somehow she finds herself pulling him closer, his fingers wrapped tightly around the woolen strip, a mix of indecipherable emotions on his face. She pulls him closer, and he smiles wryly at her, and the word _hope_ lingers in Marietta's brain as she smashes her face onto his, her lips barely meeting his own in a awkward kiss. It is dry and cold and painful, as it is a terribly cold morning, and Marietta has no idea what she is doing.

"I guess I got my Christmas snog after all," Zacharias says as their mouths part. He is still smirking at her, with something dark in his gaze. "Another house without a home, I suppose, seeing as your heart belongs to Cho."

"My heart," says Marietta, breathless and befuddled, "belongs to no one."

"We'll see about that," says Zacharias.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The seventh of the series.

  
Cho bursts through the door with a sigh loud enough to draw the attention of every student in class. "I'm having such a wonderful day!" She is flushed and beaming.

Marietta isn't entirely sure how to react to this shockingly happy version of Cho Chang. "Well, that's lovely," she says, and means it, for Cho is beautiful when she smiles. "Had a good Christmas, I take it?"

Cho laughs brightly and takes a seat beside her friend. She leans in close and lowers her voice to a whisper. "I've got a date with Harry." She lets out a girlish squeal.

Marietta frowns. "Lovely," she says, echoing her earlier response, though this time it completely lacks happiness. "I'm sure you'll have a perfect time."

"Oh, I hope so." Cho looks nervous. "Do you think he likes me, Marietta?"

"One can only hope." Marietta rolls her eyes and is infinitely grateful when class begins.

Zacharias corners her later on, after dinner. The corridor just outside the Great Hall is filled to bursting with people, and Marietta is startled out of her wits by Zacharias spinning her around and planting a sloppy kiss on her cheek. "You'll never believe what I've learned today," he whispers in her ear.

"Don't do that," Marietta hisses, shoving him away from her. Her face is burning,and she looks around in alarm. "Merlin, we're in public."

"Oh." Zacharias is furious; his fists clench as he glares at her. "It was only all right when everyone had gone home for Christmas, then. Now that the holiday is over, you can't possibly be seen with me."

"That's not it," Marietta replies, looking away from him. "We just have to be discreet. For modesty's sake."

"You mean for Cho's sake," he accuses her. "Have you told her how you spent your holiday?"

She swallows and peers into the Hall. Cho is talking to some seventh year Ravenclaw from their Quidditch team. Zacharias pinches Marietta's arm, and she shouts, slapping his hand. "No, all right? I haven't told her. But it's for your own sake. She hates you, with good reason."

"Because I dare to look Potter in the eye instead of falling to my knees in worship? He's only a boy, you know. And you're ruining my surprise right now."

"Look, I know that," Marietta says, touching his arm. She looks at him, and her heart is hit with a pang of longing. She sighs. "Just tell me what you learned today," she says desperately. She realizes, quite suddenly, that she doesn't hate Zacharias Smith. Perhaps she never did. "You seemed so happy about it just a moment ago."

Zacharias's glare begins to fade slowly. "Someone's been forced into taking Remedial Potions."

"Snape's giving Remedial Potions? Merlin, who could possibly be so bad?" Zacharias is outright grinning now, and Marietta's eyes widen. "Not Potter, surely?" He nods, and Marietta laughs despite herself. "Well, well, perfect Potter in Remedial Potions."

"Isn't it horribly entertaining? The way he struts about in DA meetings, you'd think he'd have top marks in everything. But Remedial Potions! It's glorious."

"Zacharias, why do you hate Potter so much, anyway?" Marietta feels her face heating up again. "I mean, you know why I dislike him."

He frowns at her, and his eyes are dark and frightening. Marietta feels a chill go down her spine. Zacharias is such a whirlwind, changing emotions at the drop of a hat. It's dizzying. "But you must know," he says. "I thought I'd made it pretty obvious."

Of course she knows, but the name has been so far from her thoughts lately. Cho has been focused on Harry. The reminder of the reason, the reason for all of this, makes her stomach turn. This sickness is followed immediately by a rush of hot guilt. "Cedric."

"He stole Cedric's glory. He stole Cedric." People walk around them, but Marietta is not thinking of being in public anymore. Zacharias shakes with wrath, and Marietta is frightened of him, frightened and entranced. "Cedric won that Tournament, and Cedric should have walked out of the maze. I don't know if I believe Potter's story, but either way it's his fault Cedric is gone. He killed that boy."

"I don't know if he did all that," Marietta says quietly, biting her lower lip. She hates Cedric more than anything, for his hold over the two people she cares about. It is a thing she cannot reason, the lure of Cedric Diggory. It makes her angry.

"He did it whether he meant to or not," Zacharias insists, and grips her hand so tightly it hurts. "I don't know what happened, but Cedric should never have died. He was the strongest person I knew." His gaze softens suddenly, and he pulls Marietta closer. "Before I met you, anyway."

The words bring a mortifying tear to Marietta's eye, which she wipes away quickly. She sighs and looks around them, then slowly leans in and presses her lips to Zacharias's face. He catches her cheek and turns to meet her with his own mouth, and the two of them are suddenly kissing in the middle of the busiest corridor in Hogwarts. They've already gotten much better at this than they were at Hogsmeade Station, and Marietta finds that she doesn't terribly mind snogging in public, after all.

"You still wish to be discreet?" Zacharias asks her. His eyes dance with a mixture of emotion, so powerful that Marietta can barely look into them without a rush of goosebumps sweeping over her skin.

She nods, and his face falls. "Discreetly indiscreet, that is," she tells him, and he beams at her.

Of course, kissing in the corridors is frowned upon by the Professors, but the resulting loss of house points isn't such a big deal. "Ravenclaw could stand to lose a few, anyway," Zacharias says later, with a rakish grin. "Shrink their bloated heads a bit."

"Bloated heads! Do I look like a Gryffindor?" Marietta asks him. Zacharias laughs riotously.

"And just what is so funny?" Cho is waiting for Marietta to partner with her in the day's DA lesson, and she frowns so prettily at Zacharias that Marietta almost feels bad for laughing. Almost.

"Nothing," Marietta says with a grin. Zacharias winks at her as she moves away, and Marietta does not get a single spell right for the rest of the evening. She is thinking of kissing, and for the first time, Cho Chang is not the subject of the fantasy.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The eighth fic of the series.

  
Zacharias lifts his hand up with a frown, his eyes cast up to the grey sky. His snort of frustration makes Marietta laugh, and she pushes him. "Afraid of a little rain, are you?"

"No," he snaps. "I only wish I could conjure up some protection for our hair or something."

"Your hair is hopeless no matter what happens to it," she teases him, ruffling his messy blond locks. "I say we just duck inside and wait it out, shall we?"

"I suppose." Zacharias smiles at Marietta and takes her hand. "If you're not too embarrassed to be seen with me in a public venue."

Marietta rolls her eyes at him. "I'm here, aren't I?"

The past few weeks have been oddly satisfying for Marietta. She hasn't exactly told anyone about her feelings for Zacharias, but she's not adverse to spending time with the Hufflepuff boy in public, either. In fact, Marietta has even taken to becoming Zacharias Smith's permanent partner in DA meetings, much to Cho's confusion. "He's not so bad," Marietta tells her friend with a shrug, turning away to hide the blush on her cheeks. "He'll only keep pestering us if I don't help him out."

And of course, there is the kissing. Marietta is insistent on not getting caught by the Filch or a Professor, but she does give in to Zacharias's affections once in a while, sharing an embrace behind the greenhouses or in an abandoned classroom. They will never use the Room of Requirement; Marietta doesn't find it very safe. What if someone from the DA should try to get in? They aren't sure how it works exactly, and Marietta will not be seen by any of that lot. "Aha, so you are embarrassed by me," Zacharias accuses her.

"Stop saying that," Marietta replies. "It's nothing to do with you. Perhaps I don't enjoy having my personal affairs ogled by the entire school, did you ever think of that?"

And now today is Valentine's Day, and Zacharias is holding her hand as they step into Honeydukes, and Marietta smiles at her Ravenclaw friends as they pass, and she is not embarrassed. That is, not until Zacharias opens his fat mouth. "Honestly, are you trying to eat yourself to death?" He asks sharply, eyeing a girl's particularly large bag of sweets.

"Please ignore him, he is such an idiot," Marietta says, slapping Zacharias's arm as the girl glares dangerously at him.

"I'm only looking out for your health," Zacharias replies, and Marietta yanks him away before the other girl can get her wand out.

"Are you trying to get yourself hexed?" Marietta hisses, as they stand in the far corner of the store.

Zacharias picks idly in the bowl of Cockroach Clusters. "Trying to save some chocolate for myself, actually." He grins at her. "You saw that bag, she was buying the whole store! How will I ever get you a Valentine's Day present if the inventory's all been bought?"

"You are a horrible, miserable human being," Marietta replies, but she grins back at him. "She was buying rather a lot, though, wasn't she?"

"She looked like she going to hit me," Zacharias says with a smirk. "I don't even think she would have cast anything. I was much more afraid of her fists."

"She did look positively murderous," Marietta agrees, laughing. It's rather funny, she thinks, being the sane half of a relationship for once. Besides, there's something about Zacharias and his madness, his abrasiveness. It's refreshing. Too many people hold back out of some kind of fear, or a desperate need to do the "right thing." Marietta has never known what the right thing is, and she is trying to shake off her fears. Zacharias is helping her. Irritating, ridiculous Zacharias Smith, helping Marietta overcome her inappropriate feelings for sweet, sensible Cho Chang. It's funny. But then, Cho hasn't been very sensible lately, or at least not to Marietta.

"Here," says Zacharias, dumping a stack of Chocolate Frogs in her arms. "Happy Valentine's Day."

"Wow, thanks," Marietta replies dryly. She rolls her eyes and follows Zacharias up to the front register to pay for their sweets.

"Fancy a drink in the Three Broomsticks?" Marietta asks later, as she dumps her bag of frogs into Zacharias's arms.

Zacharias grimaces. "Won't the lovebirds be in there?"

She knows exactly who he is talking about. Cho has talked about nothing but Harry Potter for weeks, looking forward to her date with Harry this very weekend, and Marietta has less than zero interest in running into them. She thinks it would make her vomit, and clearly Zacharias shares the feeling. "Oh, no, Cho mentioned she wanted to drag him to Puddifoot's."

"That frilly little tea shop with all the fairies?" Zacharias sticks a finger down his throat and makes a gagging sound. "You'd best never dare to even dream of getting me in that place."

Marietta grins and places her hand on his arm. "That would not be a dream. It would be a nightmare, honestly. The place scares me. Too much pink." She doesn't know how she would define romance, but pink confetti doesn't seem to fit the bill. It's nauseating, if anything.

Zacharias heaves a sigh of relief and turns towards the Three Broomsticks. "For a sane drink, then, shall we?"

"We shall." There is something warm bubbling up through Marietta's body, making her stomach clench and her heart thud in her chest. It is a feeling she has been seriously lacking so far this miserable school year. It is happiness.

They each have two butterbeers and spend a rousing hour discussing which of the nearby students are doomed failures and which are only going to get ahead through brown-nosing. They laugh at Professor Snape and debate which teacher will be sacked first, Trelawney or Hagrid (Zacharias loathes the former, but Marietta is extremely distrustful of the latter). Marietta laughs harder than she ever thinks she has, and the two of them walk out into the rain later with satisfied grins on their faces. "You see, I'm not always horrible," Zacharias says.

"Oddly enough," Marietta replies cheekily. "I am going to be so miserable when I get back to the castle. Cho's going to be revolting about Harry, I just know it."

Zacharias is not paying attention to her words; he stares up at the sky with a curious expression on his face. "Look," he says simply, pointing overhead.

Marietta squints her eyes to avoid getting rain in them as she glances upward. Droplets of water splash onto her face, but the rain is slowing, and a few dim rays of sunlight peek through the clouds. It takes her a moment, but Marietta sees what Zacharias is talking about. A faint rainbow arcs across the sky, casting pale color over the gloom. "Lovely," she whispers.

Zacharias reaches for her hand. "A perfect end to a perfect day, I'd wager. Yeah?"

"Yeah," says Marietta, with a shyly pleased smile. "Perfect."

As it turns out, Cho Chang has most decidedly not had a perfect day, and she rails against Harry's insensitivity for hours that evening. Marietta feels bad, certainly, but there is a tiny, irrational piece of her that is glad. Cho's anger at Harry is like Marietta's own little prism, casting another lovely rainbow across the gloom of the sky.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The ninth fic of the series.

  
Cho shrieks with joy as she appears whole-bodied in the center of the wooden hoop. "Mari, I did it!" Her face is flushed, and she throws her arms into the air, leaping back to her starting point so that she can hug her friend.

Marietta has not managed to Apparate at all yet, but she is happy enough for Cho, returning the hug. "I'll never manage," she says worriedly, staring down her own hoop, the circle on the floor looking so misleadingly innocent.

"Of course you will," Cho replies, patting Marietta's shoulder before turning away to try again.

Marietta glares at her hoop for a moment. "I won't," she insists, and looks around the room to watch the rest of her year attempt the feat. She can't do it herself until she sees everyone else do it; she hopes to catch some tips. However, it doesn't seem like many students are doing very well, with most of them simply spinning around in circles or staring endlessly at the floor. This is what Marietta has been doing, so she doesn't feel too bad about her failure so far.

Cho Apparates back and forth twice more, and it is only her constant grinning which keeps Marietta from becoming infuriated with her friend. It is nice to see Cho happy, even when she is reading Harry Potter's Quibbler interview over and over again. Marietta is infinitely relieved that Umbridge has banned the thing, so that she is at least spared from having to hear it during classes. But thinking about Cho and Harry is not going to help Marietta Apparate at all, and so she tries her best to stuff them out of her mind.

Closing her eyes, Marietta visualizes the hoop before her and pushes forward in mind and body. There is a terrible squashing feeling, and with a rush of air, Marietta opens her eyes to find herself standing within the hoop. She has a terrible headache and has apparently splinched some of her hair off, judging by the multitude of strands lying on the floor behind her. Still, she has managed to do it, and she needed a haircut, anyway. She smiles, pleased with herself, and Cho Chang hugs her again.

If Apparating is going to give her hugs from Cho every time she does it, Marietta will be sure to practice day and night. But this sort of thought is not at all welcome to the brain of a girl dating Zacharias Smith, not least because the boy would be furious if he knew she was thinking it. Marietta sighs and steps out of her hoop to try moving herself magically again.

Magic is rather amazing sometimes. Marietta's parents have taken her on a Side-Along once or twice, but she has never been able to conceive of moving her body solely with the power of her own magic. It's not something witches think about; magic is simply taken for granted when you've grown up with it. But now that Marietta is actually doing it, it strikes her as the most incredible thing she has ever done. If only she could control her mind, too, with nothing but magic. She can move herself physically through space in every direction, up and down and all around, anywhere she can imagine (she's not that great on a broom, but theoretically it is possible). If only she could move through the fourth dimension as well, flinging herself through time until she reaches a safe era, a time when she is not endlessly miserable and confused.

Instead, she will just keep practicing in the dimensions she can master. She will just keep accepting these pleasant hugs from Cho, and worrying about what Zacharias will think. She is happy with Zacharias, despite everything, but these thoughts of Cho will not leave her, no matter how hard she tries. And not even magic can help her, so she'll just keep stumbling on through this murky teenage period of woe, unable to see what lies ahead of her.

Zacharias is waiting for her after the lesson. "I see you miraculously managed to avoid splinching yourself," he says with a smirk. "A pity."

Marietta forces herself to smile back at him, even as she can still feel the warmth of Cho's arms around her. "Hilarity," she says wryly.


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The tenth fic of the series.

  
Cho leans curiously over her shoulder. "What did you get in the mail, Mari?"

Marietta crumples the letter in her hands. "Nothing," she says. "How are things between you and Harry?"

Cho smiles. "Oh, much better." She sighs dreamily. "I feel so bad for misunderstanding him."

"That's wonderful," says Marietta, who feels smothered. "I've forgotten one of my books, so I'll just meet you in class, all right?" Cho nods, and Marietta moves out of her seat and away from the Ravenclaw table. She hasn't really forgotten her book; she just wants a moment alone.

But such a thing is never possible. "You're in a hurry," says Zacharias, materializing beside her as they march out of the Great Hall. "Chang's finally started nauseating you, has she? It was only a matter of time."

"Of course not," Marietta snaps. "I've forgotten my Charms book."

"This one?" Zacharias reaches into her half-open bag and pulls out Marietta's copy of _The Standard Book of Spells_.

"You're insufferable," Marietta replies, snatching the text from his hands.

"But you adore me," he says with a grin. "Don't you?" A line forms across his forehead, as she watches his inner reservoir of anger bubble up to the surface.

"Are you going to the DA tonight?" Marietta asks, changing the subject. She may be fond of Zacharias, but she is not in the mood to feed his ego at the moment by saying it aloud.

"Of course I am." His rage fades into a curious confusion. "I'd never miss an opportunity to keep Potter in check. Why, aren't you coming along?"

Marietta sighs and stops in a corner, kneeling as she stuffs her book back into her bag. "I don't know." She looks up at Zacharias. "It's impossible, you know? You, and Harry, and Cho, and the letters."

"What letters?" Zach demands, brushing Marietta's curls over her shoulder as she rises.

"It's my mother," she replies reluctantly, as she has never spoken of this before. "She wants me to join Umbridge."

"I knew we hated Potter, but I hardly think we have to go that far," says Zacharias. "I mean, something killed Cedric." Pain flits across his eyes.

"But what was it?" Marietta asks, searching his gaze. "Is You-Know-Who really here, or are we all just wasting our time? I mean, if the Ministry doesn't believe it."

"Then they're a bunch of gits," Zacharias finishes for her. "Potter may have fucked up with Cedric, he may be a Gryffindor fool, but he's not a loon. Surely we'd have noticed by now if he was."

"She's going to disown me if she finds out what I'm doing," Marietta says, feeling a twist in her stomach. "I'll be an abandoned child with no friends and no life and nothing to my name. I'll be ruined and alone." She's thought these things but never consciously, and saying them is making them more true, more worrying. "My father doesn't care, she's got him right behind her. She hates me already, so what am I going to do if Potter screws this up?"

"Marietta," says Zacharias. He hesitates, chewing on his lower lip. Marietta's never seen him like this. Zacharias is always completely sure of himself, and he is always angry or smirking. He's got such a sorrowful expression on his face now that it's making her even more worried. "You're not alone, Edgecombe," he says finally.

She's taken aback by her realization of what he's feeling. Zacharias honestly does care about her, in a way that Cho Chang never can in her naïve world of ignorance. It touches her, and it makes her feel so horribly guilty. "Thanks, Smith," she says, with a tentative smile.

"Any time," he replies, and leans in slowly to kiss her. It is the sweetest of their kisses, filled with honest affection. "Don't worry about your Mum," he says, pressing his forehead to hers. "What's she going to do? Umbridge isn't going to find out about us, and soon they'll all see what they're up against."

"I don't know about that," says Marietta, breathless and confused. "Sometimes I think about just telling Umbridge everything."

"Why would you do such a thing?" He doesn't sound angry for once, just honestly confused.

"Because it's useless. You know Potter can't really do anything to help us. We're fighting blind. I don't know, I just think," and she hesitated, pulling away from his touch. "I just think it would better protect us if I did tell."

"You mean better protect Cho," he says, and now that old familiar anger is back. "You want to pull her away from him."

"For Merlin's sake, Smith, it's not always about Cho," Marietta snarls, but she doesn't even know if that's true. She doesn't know anything right now, she's confused and she has a million different things on her mind. "I thought you were with me on this. I thought you hated Potter as much as I did."

He rolls his eyes in an overly-exaggerated manner. "Yes, we all loathe Harry Potter," he says angrily. "But why are you going to throw away the only chance we have? We're still learning, aren't we? Merlin, Marietta," and he grabs her, yanking her in close. "I'm not going to let what happened to Cedric strike you, too. I'm not letting that happen again."

"It's not going to happen," she says, wrapping her arms around him. He is warm and smells like cologne and pumpkin juice. "I'm doing it to protect you, too."

"I don't need protecting."

"Neither do I." She looks up at him. "Just don't go to the DA meeting tonight, Zacharias. They'll never know you were in on it."

"Don't do this. It's stupid."

"It's right," she insists. "I'm ending this charade once and for all. I'm putting everything back where it belongs. We're breaking the rules, and she's going to find out sooner or later. Can't you see it's for the best?"

Zacharias backs away from her with something dark in his eyes. "Fine," he says. "But make sure you are doing it for the right reasons. I'm not hanging around waiting for you to make the right decision anymore. It's her or me. You do what you feel you have to do."

"Zacharias," she says pleadingly, but she doesn't know how to finish.

"Don't worry about me," he says coldly. "I won't be there tonight. I'll be safe." He sneers at her and turns away.

Marietta doesn't know what to do. She feels pressure bearing down on her from every side, as though Umbridge and her mother and Zacharias and Cho are standing around her and shoving her forcefully down into a dark little box. The opening is so hard to see, the answers are so impossible to divine, and she doesn't know that she can listen to what Zacharias has told her. The DA is the cause of everything in her eyes. It brought Cho and Harry together, it brought this scrutinizing wrongness upon all of them. Umbridge has been hinting for weeks that she's on to something, that it's only a matter of time before she cracks down on the rebellious liars of the school.

Marietta only wants to protect everyone she cares about. It's not only about placating her mother, it's about saving both Cho and Zacharias. It's about removing this heavy weight from her shoulders, and possibly making her other life decisions a little easier. She'll still see Zacharias, and surely he'll understand eventually why she's done what she felt was necessary.

Marietta hates making decisions, but she has to do what she can. She has to find the opening of the box.


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The eleventh of the series.

  
The room is far too bright, and her vision is blurry. Marietta sees a flash of blonde hair and what looks like an arrogant smirk, and she groans. Her memory is a tangled mess of disoriented snippets, but she knows Zacharias when she sees him. "Go away," she moans, turning away from him. Her face itches.

"Sleeping Beauty awakens," he responds, and she can hear his mirth. He is reveling in her misery, and it makes her angry. She refuses to acknowledge him, pressing her lips together and holding her breath. There is a long silence. "Marietta," he says, and she has to clench her muscles to keep herself from moving. "Hey," says Zacharias, and he pokes her back gently. "Look at me." She still does nothing. "It's all right, you know," he says. "It's not nearly as disgusting now as it was before."

It takes her a minute to understand; her brain feels thick and fuzzy. She walked into Umbridge's office for something, and then, somehow, she woke up in the Hospital Wing. She thinks, and thinks, and then it comes back to her. Her face. "Oh, Merlin," she cries, shooting up. One hand slaps to her cheek, and her fears are realized. Her face is ruined.

"Thought that would get you," says Zacharias. Marietta glowers at him, hating him for smirking at her. She glares at him, and then she remembers her face again, and dives under the blankets. "For Merlin's sake," says Zacharias, and she can practically hear his eyes rolling. "You can look at me. I'm not going to vomit." He snorts out a laugh. "No, no, I'm joking. I'm sorry. Look at me, will you? I am not going to sit here talking to a blanket."

Marietta slowly peeks out at him. "I can't remember everything," she says. "Why is my face like this?"

"Apparently," Zacharias replies, leaning back, "Granger is a devious witch with a cruel streak. That parchment we signed, back in the Hog's Head? It was cursed. You broke the code when you opened your fat mouth to tattle on us."

"What?" Marietta demands, shaking her head. "What parchment? What fat mouth?"

Zacharias stares at her. "You don't remember?"

She rubs the top of her head. "I feel like I've been hit by a Bludger."

"You told Umbridge about the DA and it cursed your face," Zacharias explains. "You've got 'Sneak' written across your cheeks. It's almost adorable, if it weren't so hideous. Ah, sorry, I've done it again. Not going to win you back saying things like that, am I?"

"Win me back? Did we split up?" Marietta asks. "Wait, were we ever together in the first place?" She has vague visions of secret snogging sessions, but she can't be sure what's really happened.

"But of course," he says. "You couldn't resist me. I had to accept your undying love, after you'd thrown yourself at me so many times."

She rolls her eyes. "I know that's not true."

Zacharias turns serious, leaning forward and clasping his hands together. "All right, look. I may not necessarily agree with what you did, but I understand. No matter what Cho may say, I understand."

"Has, er, Cho come to see me at all?" Marietta asks, worried about Zacharias's reaction to the question.

As expected, he narrows his eyes. "Yes," he spits out. "Briefly, last night. She took off once I arrived, of course. She loathes me, you know." He grins. "I rather love that."

Marietta sighs. "I've ruined everything, haven't I? Cho will hate me now. Everyone will hate me."

"They weren't entirely fond of you in the first place, though, were they?" Zacharias winks at her. "That's how we got on so well, our mutual propensity for attracting hatred from those wonderful Gryffindors. But Cho won't hate you. She's got to be decent enough to forgive you eventually. I mean, if she's managed to attract two of the greatest people I ever knew, she can't be all that bad, right?"

"That's something I always wanted to ask you," Marietta says carefully. She's already lost everything else, she may as well throw the question out there now. "Were you in love with him?" She can't bring herself to say the name.

He stares at her, very seriously, and she feels a twisting in her stomach. And then Zacharias starts laughing. "Yes, because every friendship is secretly hiding unrequited love," he says, holding his stomach. "I couldn't possibly admire a bloke without wanting to snog him."

"I'm sorry," Marietta replies grumpily, hiking the blanket up further, hiding everything but the top of her head. Her curls pop out like a frizzy halo.

"Just because you're obsessed with Chang doesn't mean I thought of Cedric like that," says Zacharias, as his laughter dies down. "No," he adds, and he is serious again. "I just admired him, that's all. I just don't think he deserved what he got."

Marietta peeks out again and nods her understanding. "I wish I could keep my feelings for Cho so innocent," she says ruefully. "I'm sorry. I have been trying to stay faithful to you."

He smirks at her. "I suppose I'm not likable enough. So they say."

"No," she says, feeling her face heat up, which only increases the itching feeling. "You're very likable, Zacharias."

His smile softens. "Glad to hear it."

She smiles, and suddenly there is a loud series of popping noises outside the window. Marietta jolts up, causing her blanket to slip off her face. Turning away from Zacharias, Marietta pushes the curtain aside to see several fireworks going off outside, including a gigantic spinning Catherine Wheel. She looks back at Zacharias in shock. "What in the world is going on?"

"Ah," says Zacharias. "Quite a bit happened last night, actually. You managed to get Dumbledore kicked out of Hogwarts. Umbridge is the Headmistress now, and people aren't too pleased about it. This is their little rebellion, as it were."

Marietta's mouth hangs open. She's even forgotten to hide her monstrosity of a face from him. "I ousted Dumbledore?"

"Congratulations," Zacharias replies.

Marietta looks out at the wheel in the sky, the current symbol of her failure. She never wanted this. She only wanted to be happy. Why is it so hard for her to be happy? She's ruined so much more than her face. "Merlin," she whispers, sliding back into bed, her face itching, her stomach sinking into an endless pit.

"Hey," says Zacharias, leaning over to touch her hand. "I know we're not the most optimistic people on earth, but we're together, right? That's got to count for something."

Marietta smiles weakly. "I suppose that's true." And so they sit in silence, listening to the fireworks explode.


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The twelfth of the series.

  
She's supposed to be happy.

Marietta has reached the climax of her sixth year at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. She has overcome her main objective, made her most critical decision, and suffered her most horrible setbacks. She is supposed to be coasting now, sliding down the ramp of denouement, the simple conclusion that follows a difficult time. She isn't sure what she imagined this moment would be like. Perhaps she would have emerged from Umbridge's office in a shining halo of glory, accepted a passionate kiss from Zacharias Smith, and hugged a sobbing and grateful Cho Chang whilst glaring triumphantly at Harry Potter.

No, she would not have imagined such a scenario. It reeks of selfish fame-hogging, a trait delegated solely to Gryffindor House. No, Marietta is a dutiful Ravenclaw with a mind much more finely crafted to the reality of the world around her. So such a sappy and incredulous fate could never have entered her imagination. But what, then, did she expect?

It's impossible to tell now, now that her memory is damaged and her outcome so depressing. All she knows is that she's supposed to be happy. She was supposed to carefully dismantle Dumbledore's Army and solve all of her problems in one brilliant stroke. No more having to listen to Potter's smug superiority, no more having to see Cho worship his heroism, no more worrying about whether or not secret meetings of rebellion are such a good idea. Marietta was supposed to return to a solid, safe life filled with nothing but contentment. She's supposed to be happy. But she isn't.

Cho has defended her friend's actions against Harry, which does provide some comfort to Marietta. But Cho looks at her so nervously now, her eyes shifting as though she no longer knows her own best friend. She talks less, and Marietta suspects that Cho doesn't trust her anymore, which is heartbreaking. People stare at Marietta in the corridors, and no matter how tightly she tugs the balaclava down over her head, she feels as though her ruined cheeks are always on display. Slytherins snicker at her, Gryffindors glare, Hufflepuffs huddle in pointed whispers, and Ravenclaws simply reject her in an icy cold shoulder of disappointment. Marietta has not made the wisest of decisions.

Worst of all, incredibly, is that she no longer has evenings practicing spells with Zacharias to look forward to. She can't believe she actually misses the DA, but at the same time, she can't believe she didn't realize she would beforehand. Watching Zacharias offer faint smiles of sympathy before they part ways in the Hall after dinner is agonizing. Marietta needs somebody to commiserate with, someone who won't avoid eye contact with her or only halfway agree with what she says, like Cho.

Cho claims to understand how hard things have been for Marietta, but she never can, not really, not when she doesn't know the half of what Marietta has been doing this year. And it all comes to a head when she expresses her sadness over losing Harry Potter. "I really thought he understood me, Mari, but he just doesn't," Cho says, her eyes glistening over their Charms books. "Why can't I find a nice boy who understands me and won't just leave? They're always just leaving."

"You should have picked someone who's never left," Marietta says darkly. "Someone who's understood you since first year."

"And who's that?" Cho asks naively.

"You know what? Never mind," Marietta snaps, slamming her book shut. "Just never mind any of it. I destroyed myself for you, and this is the thanks I get? Don't try to hide your pity, please, and would you stop faking your understanding? You complain about wanting someone to understand you? How on earth do you think I feel?"

"Mari, I don't understand," Cho replies slowly, sitting up in her chair with a look of trepidation in her eyes.

"Exactly," says Marietta. "One hundred percent exactly. I need to leave." She jumps out of her chair like it's on fire. Maybe it is. Maybe her life is on fire, and she's only just now finding the exit. She thought stopping the DA would free her, but she attacked the wrong person. It isn't Harry Potter's fault after all.

"Marietta, I'm sorry," Cho cries, reaching out for her, but Marietta is done. She is done, done, done with her attraction to Cho Chang, her pointless attraction, which has brought her nothing but pain. "Mari," Cho pleads. "I do understand, really. We're still friends, honest. I just need a little time, that's all. It's so confusing, everything that's happened. Can't you see?"

"I see so much more than you could possibly imagine," Marietta says in reply, standing at the exit. "You are the one who is blind to me. But it's all right now. I'll be okay."

Cho stares, blinking, at the door after Mari has gone. She is confused and upset, and she doesn't even know why anymore.

"Zacharias Smith," Marietta says, as a bewildered Hufflepuff stares at her from the other side of the door. She has knocked and knocked upon the barrels until somebody answered her, and now she stands outside feeling foolish and useless and irrationally hopeful. "Could you please go get me Zacharias Smith?"

It takes a few moments, but he appears before her, his hair a right mess and his suspicious stare filling her heart with warmth. "What's this all about?" Zacharias demands, crossing his arms over his chest. "You couldn't bear to wait until you saw me tomorrow morning?" He smiles at her. "We do eat breakfast at around the same time every day."

"Yes," says Marietta, her face flushing with heat. She is grateful he can't see it under her balaclava. "I just wanted to let you know that I'm through. With Cho."

His smile fades; he stares at her. "Easier said than done, I suspect," he says eventually, his voice tight.

"I know," she replies, with a lump in her throat. "But I want to. For us. For me and you, in equal measure. It has to be done."

"We'll see," he says, and starts to turn around. Her chest aches, but then he turns back to her, stepping out into the corridor and lifting her balaclava for a kiss. "Thank you," he whispers, "but could you please take this ridiculous thing off? I feel like I'm kissing a Dementor. Not a pleasant image."

Marietta laughs despite herself, and peels the cloth off over her head. Her hair puffs out in an explosion of curls, and the curse scars on her face itch, but it doesn't matter. She would only ever expose herself this way to Zacharias. Not even Cho has seen her for more than the briefest of seconds. This, surprisingly, is what convinces her that she is doing the right thing. Perhaps this, then, is her climax, the simple removal of a little black cloth. "Better?" She feels slightly self-conscious about her face.

Zacharias grins at her. "You look better all the time," he says, and kisses her again. "Who knows, by next Halloween you might actually have to wear a mask to frighten small children."

Marietta smacks his arm, but she is grinning. Maybe Zacharias really could help her find her proper denouement. She has a good feeling about it.


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The thirteenth (and final!) of the series.

 

  
Marietta walks into the sixth year girls' dorm and stops short just over the threshold. Cho is alone inside, lying on her bed and writing something. She hasn't yet noticed Marietta's entrance; it's not too late for her to turn and walk back out. Marietta has been so careful lately not to get caught alone with Cho. It's so much easier being near her when there are other people around. But there's something odd about watching Cho like this, alone for the first time in weeks. Perhaps it's because the Ministry has finally accepted You-Know-Who's return, making all the doubts vanish and casting an air of grim certainty over the castle. Perhaps it's because finals are over, and Marietta is not exactly looking forward to going back home to her mother. Perhaps it's only that enough time has passed to heal whatever awkward anger existed between the two girls. Whatever the reason, Marietta walks further into the room and sits down gently on the edge of her bed. "Hi, Cho."

Cho looks up at her with shock in her eyes. Her face is just as beautiful in its simple grace, in its pale skin and pink lips. Marietta, however, only wonders where Cho's smile has gone. It's not the same anymore. "Marietta," she says coolly, nodding briefly. She hesitates, licking her lips. Marietta feels her heart skip a beat faintly, so faintly it is like watching it happen to somebody else. It doesn't feel the same anymore, either. "How are you?" Cho asks. Her gaze shifts subtly; there is hope in her eyes.

Marietta smiles. "I'm okay." It is not a fake smile. It is the smile of a woman slowly coming down to earth from some high and miserable rain cloud. It is the smile of a friend. "I am okay."

Cho's smile is warm and excited. "Oh, Mari, I'm so glad."

"I've been seeing Zacharias Smith," Marietta says quickly, letting the words tumble out before she changes her mind. Her smile widens as a memory comes back to her. It is from this morning, of Zacharias pulling on her hand. A brief moment between finals, where they shared an embrace before laughing together at some joke. Marietta thinks it was about how ridiculous it looks, the little first years with their legs dangling under the tables, stuffing their faces with pastries when there's a war on the horizon. But that's not a very funny image, really, when she stops to think about it.

Cho is not pleased by this news. "He isn't very nice," she says, her eyes sliding away from Marietta, as though afraid to speak her opinion.

"I know," Marietta replies. "It's rather refreshing, actually. He's very honest. The world needs a little more of that. You saw what happened when the Ministry tried to sugarcoat reality."

"That's not the same thing," Cho says, biting her lip.

Marietta opens her mouth to reply, but Cho moves toward her so suddenly it's startling. Cho sits up and swings her legs over the side of her bed, reaching out to touch Marietta's hands. They sit for a second, hands clasped, as Marietta struggles to categorize her feelings. It seems so important now, to make sense of every moment. Cho's hands are soft. Marietta sees Zacharias, grinning, in her mind's eye, and it calms her. She takes a deep breath.

"Listen," Cho says earnestly, her eyes wide and pleading. "I don't know what's happened between us, Mari. Can we be friends again? I miss you. I'll be nice to Zacharias, I promise."

"Were you angry with me?" Marietta asks. "When I betrayed you?"

Cho shrugs. "Disappointed," she replies. "But I know why you did it."

Marietta laughs. "No, you don't," she says, with a shake of her head. "But it's okay. I understand you." She does understand Cho. Cho Chang is a sweet young girl with an attraction to male heroes. And that's okay, too. Marietta will get over that. This whole thing, these past two years, have been a minefield for Marietta. She's getting to the end of that now. She's getting better at avoiding the lumps in the sand.

"Friends, then?" Cho asks. Marietta nods, and they giggle nervously together. "I'm glad," Cho says. Marietta is glad, too.

"Are you attracted to all girls, or was it only Cho?" Zacharias asks her later. They are lying in the grass just outside the castle, in the brief hour before the train leaves. The feast has come and gone, Dumbledore's words of caution already fading in their ears. Summer beckons, and they can't bear to think of such complicated things as war right now. They'd much rather laugh at clumsy Gryffindors and discuss Marietta's complicated sexuality.

"I don't know," she says. "I never really thought about it that way. Cho's just Cho. It's not about her being a girl." She smirks. "Are you attracted to all men, or was it only Cedric?"

He scowls. "You know it wasn't like that," he says, but she is laughing too loudly to hear him. It feels so good to laugh this way, in the grass, carefree and happy for the first time in ages. Cho Chang is speaking to her again, and Zacharias is holding her hand. Marietta is leaving Hogwarts, and not even the looming threat of her parents can ruin her mood right now. The year is over and she's alive. She's loved.

"I was going to suggest we meet up at some point during the break," Zacharias tells her, sitting up. He's got blades of grass caught in his nest of blond hair. "But not if you're going to be like this."

Marietta can hardly breathe; the sun is hot on her face. "Oh, please, rescue me from my mother," she says, clinging to his arm as he pulls her up off the ground.

"Oh, no," Zacharias replies. "I'm coming to you, not the other way around. The Smith family isn't made of roses, either, you know."

"Well, we can work that out later," Marietta decides, brushing the dirt off the back of her robes. "A safe haven in between, perhaps. Right now, I'm going to need your help packing. I've only barely started and we haven't got much time."

"I can't even get into Ravenclaw tower, never mind your dormitory," Zacharias claims. "Though really, I just don't want to help you pack. Really, hardly started? That is extremely irresponsible of you. Not at all proper Ravenclaw behavior. You don't want to look like a lazy Gryffindor, do you?"

Marietta mock glares at him, crossing her arms over her chest. "How rude you are," she says, "not even offering to help a lady. Then again, you don't want to look like a chivalrous Gryffindor, do you?" She grins.

"A fair Hufflepuff believes everyone ought to pack their own things," Zacharias states, grinning back at her. "I'll just wait outside your tower, shall I?"

"If you wish," Marietta says with a shrug. "I can just answer the riddle to get in for you, if you feel you're too simple to do it yourself."

Zacharias scowls at her, reaching out with both hands to madly ruffle her curls. "I am absolutely not simple," he shouts, as Marietta squeals and hurriedly swats his hands away. "I could answer any of your riddles, any day."

"You'll have to prove that," Marietta says with a snort, and she runs, laughing, to escape Zacharias's clutches.

It is true that they aren't living on some fantasy island, where nothing matters and Cho isn't beautiful anymore, where war never comes. There are no watermelons in the surf, no butterflies in her hair, no rainbows in the sky. But Zacharias makes Marietta happy, and with that, she has the hope to manage anything else the world would like to throw at her.


End file.
